Who in the World is Sarah Palin?

Facts I know about Alaska:

1. Grizzly bears, permafrost, and oil live there
2. The natives have so, so many words for snow. Like, 30.
3. It is the largest state in the union, and is similarly forgettable.
4. Evidentally, someone named Sarah Palin is the governor there.

According to MSNBC or FOXNews or something this morning, Palin has been chosen to be McCain's VP. Pat Buchanan, taking a brief break from hating on immigrants, said that Palin is a risky choice with the possibility of a great payout for the GOP. For the first hour or two after the announcement, I believed him. Palin is both female and white, which will appeal to the much-talked about "crazy group of white women who don't vote on issues" demographic. She's also a hockey mom, anti-abortion, and pro-wildlife drilling, which should appeal to conservatives. And hey, one of her kids has Downs Syndrome--a fact that Buchanan strangely alluded to several times, seemingly as a strength.

The McCain campaign either has a wickedly ironic sense of humor (nope) or basks in gleeful hypocrisy (yes). Obama doesn't have the experience to lead the country? If McCain is elected and then in an unforeseen turn of events the nearly-an-octogenarian dies, our president's only governing experience will be as mayor of an Alaskan town, and 2-year governor.

Prior political experience: Image to scale

And as for the claim that Obama...something something...celebrity...something, Palin won the (admittedly 1984) Miss Wasilla beauty pageant. Yes, it was a 24 years ago. But the picture is on the internet, and it's too good to overlook. A lesson to young people everywhere--if you plan to run for public office somewhere, never get photographed for any reason.

Pictured above: Not Dick Cheney

Predictions
1. Female voters' intelligence will be condescended to in increasingly sleazy Republican campaign ads
2. Internet trolls will pat themselves on the back about jokes similar to this--"Maybe Palin is fit to lead America after all, since she already has experience in dealing with retarded people."
3. McCain will continue to be called a "maverick" for choosing someone completely in line with the conservative Christian base, because his choice's chromosomes don't have a Y.