1. Grizzly bears, permafrost, and oil live there
2. The natives have so, so many words for snow. Like, 30.
3. It is the largest state in the union, and is similarly forgettable.
4. Evidentally, someone named Sarah Palin is the governor there.
According to MSNBC or FOXNews or something this morning, Palin has been chosen to be McCain's VP. Pat Buchanan, taking a brief break from hating on immigrants, said that Palin is a risky choice with the possibility of a great payout for the GOP. For the first hour or two after the announcement, I believed him. Palin is both female and white, which will appeal to the much-talked about "crazy group of white women who don't vote on issues" demographic. She's also a hockey mom, anti-abortion, and pro-wildlife drilling, which should appeal to conservatives. And hey, one of her kids has Downs Syndrome--a fact that Buchanan strangely alluded to several times, seemingly as a strength.
The McCain campaign either has a wickedly ironic sense of humor (nope) or basks in gleeful hypocrisy (yes). Obama doesn't have the experience to lead the country? If McCain is elected and then in an unforeseen turn of events the nearly-an-octogenarian dies, our president's only governing experience will be as mayor of an Alaskan town, and 2-year governor.
Prior political experience: Image to scaleAnd as for the claim that Obama...something something...celebrity...something, Palin won the (admittedly 1984) Miss Wasilla beauty pageant. Yes, it was a 24 years ago. But the picture is on the internet, and it's too good to overlook. A lesson to young people everywhere--if you plan to run for public office somewhere, never get photographed for any reason.
Pictured above: Not Dick Cheney
Predictions
1. Female voters' intelligence will be condescended to in increasingly sleazy Republican campaign ads
2. Internet trolls will pat themselves on the back about jokes similar to this--"Maybe Palin is fit to lead America after all, since she already has experience in dealing with retarded people."
3. McCain will continue to be called a "maverick" for choosing someone completely in line with the conservative Christian base, because his choice's chromosomes don't have a Y.
5 comments:
Dear Casey Best. Thank God you started a blog.
More Alaska Facts:
1. Wasilla is part of "The Valley" of Alaska... It's a hilarious place where our canvassers get held up at gunpoint for saying they are with the democrats. Literally.
2. Sarah Palin walks on water... And throws money at people.
3. Drill!! Mine!! Guns!!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=23240184671&refurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fs.php%3Fq%3Dpalin%2Bsarah%26n%3D-1%26k%3D200000010%26sf%3Dp%26init%3Dq%26s%3D10
The Times reported that she likes bear-hunting and is a "pro-life feminist."
Tempting as those qualities may be in a possible VP, still gotta say that I like Joe Biden and his shiny perfect family better.
One heartbeat away from the Presidency (or more accurately, lack of one heartbeat away) ... six years ago she was mayor of a town of less then 6,000.
Now, qualified for the vice presidency? Really? But, hey, she's a female and...wait... I'm a female. Ergo ...? And could the McCain VP strategists actually think there are enough Hillary backers out there who are so solely motivated by the idea of a female being shoved through the 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling that they're willing to forego all of the principles for which Hillary professed? Dear God, let's hope they're wrong. And willing also to forego the basic principle that a VP ought to be qualified to be President? (Oh, wait. That's right. This is the party that brought us Dan Quayle and Agnew as VPs, but I date myself.) And what about the racists? ("Well, Darryl, she may be a woman, but she's white ... and dern pretty, too.")
Yahoo news today has a link to an article on Palin that covers "Her workout, eating habits." Oh Yahoo news, always with the hard-hitting journalism.
Correction: turns out the story came from the Wallstreet Journal.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122002155637283431.html?mod=yhoofront
She writes her speeches while exercising! Her biggest workout pitfall is "being pregnant every few years"! She eats moose!
Journalism!
Don't forget, Alaska was also briefly invaded by the Japanese during WWII, but only for a day or so. Nobody really cared then, and nobody even knows it happened now.
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